Last night I was having a text conversation with my best friend after I got home. There are some people you just know so well and who know you so well that you can understand the underlying statements in what they say and vice versa. Well, best friend, I got everything you were really saying there. You gave me the best advice yesterday, which was stop taking so much advice from everyone. You know this better than all of us because you have reasons why you do what you do and not everyone understands. I do because I am the same way. You and I are actually living almost parallel right now, and I realize that you are right.
I have a few people I hold very close. And I take what they say to me to heart, very much, because they are looking out for my best interests. And I know they do not mean any harm in what they say or do, but their advice is not always based on the most accurate information. And what something looks like from the outside or from one side isn’t necessarily the entirety of the situation. I had so many voices in my ear yesterday, so many people offering opinions I never asked for, never wanted. Talk me up, talk me down, talk me into, out of. I know they were looking out for me, my best interests, but they often do not understand that I am not as fragile as I may appear. If they had been flies on the walls of my childhood, adolescence, they would understand that I have come such a long way and I have learned that a thick skin is not the result of ignoring what hurts, it is a result of knowing the truth about yourself and having enough faith to know that some things are just molehills. Most things are just molehills. Can you imagine me saying this five years ago? A year ago? A month ago? A week ago? A day ago? No. Perspectives change and so it has.
I know they mean well, but I know what I am willing to field, willing to accept, willing to let slide, whatever it is. I know. I appreciate the sentiment and I love you for it because I know that bonds like these are not easily forged, my best of friends, and not easily broken. I know that you are looking out for me. I know that you love me as the person I am and I the same for you. And I will listen to what you tell me and I will appreciate every word you say because I know that you have the absolute best of intentions. But know that I had so many voices, so many pieces of advice that I almost lost what I actually thought. But we all learn through experience, through just living life as it comes, and I have done so. The best advice I got was to take advice with a grain of salt. Perhaps he knows better than any of us, all of us.
“I made the right decision last night.” That is what I read this morning. That is why I know that even though I value your opinions and I know you want to see the best for me, ultimately I can only sleep easy knowing that I made the best decision. I made the decision. I know you are slightly biased because of the past, but it is over. It is gone. There is no point dwelling on the past, it will only serve to cause you to hold a grudge, be suspicious, biased. Often this is worse than what actually happened, the actual situation, please believe me when I say that I know this.
“I made the right decision last night.” Best friend, you absolutely did. You made the best decision for you. And you have taught me much, you taught me so much in our text conversation last night that I realized that you have qualities few people possess. You are wise beyond your years and above all, you offer me advice and then tell me what is the best advice…to only listen to you if it is relevant to what I actually feel. Take your advice with a grain of salt. I wish that I had understood this long ago, but I suppose twenty-three years is better than never, which is what most people experience.
You and I know the dangers of advice, best friend, and you gave me the best advice anyone could ever give anyone else. And so I have done so. I have decided, I have analyzed, and I have reached my own conclusion. And so did you, my very best friend, and because we know better and we know nothing:
Take this advice, live by every word. Love is just a hoax, so forget everything that you have heard. Take this advice, live by every word. Love’s completely real, so forget anything that you have heard.
