Too often, I think, people get so caught up in everyday, mundane activities that they don’t realize they have let some of the bigger issues and ideas get pushed so far back they can’t even identify them anymore. Now, I am certainly not an expert in psychology or anything, but I do have my hypotheses on certain things and they’re not necessarily right or wrong, they’re food for thought. Here is something to chew on.
I have noticed lately that a lot of people I know complain a lot about a lot of things. This isn’t bad and I’m not saying I don’t want to hear it, it’s fine to blow off steam, but I’ve been looking at the things people have been complaining about and I think I may have identified at least one reason why people are complaining about them so much. I am absolutely guilty of this too. I think a lot of people are complaining because they have gotten so caught up in everything else, they have let their standards slip. And when they realize that their love life, job, friendships, whatever, are not where they want them to be, they complain. But perhaps some or all of the issue could be solved by just raising your standards.
If your job is far below what you expect of it or what to gain from it, raise your standards. Maybe that means looking for a new job, maybe that means going back to school and getting the education you need to get a job more up to par, whatever, but don’t just stay stuck and complaining. People don’t realize that they can do better, and often, that they deserve better and end up stuck in one place or with one person who isn’t right, or whatever else for too long and it becomes comfortable.
I have been watching a lot of people complain about their romantic relationships, including myself. A lot of people have a “type” that they’re attracted to, but repeatedly being attracted to people who aren’t meeting even basic acceptable standards (the selfish, arrogant, inconsiderate — you know the type) isn’t a product of liking “the bad boy” or whatever other justification people give it to avoid dealing with the real relationship problems, it is a product of settling and questioning your own self-worth and self-esteem. Rest assured, you can do better and deserve better.
It has been my experience that a lot of anxiety and dissatisfaction in certain areas can be quashed by simply raising your standards. Understanding what you want, deserve, and need in work, love, friendships, school…it can go a long way into vastly improving, if nothing else, your demeanor. And disregarding or stepping away from or out of things that aren’t up to standard are not reasons to feel bad, guilty, or like you’re abandoning something, you’re simply seeking out what will be conducive and supportive of your own happiness. That is not selfish, that is what is necessary in order to give your best to the projects, people, and ideas you feel the most attached and attracted to, on whatever level.
Change the things making you unhappy by raising the bar in some cases. I have, and while it hasn’t eliminated the problem, it has seriously changed the way I look at it and has set me on a course in a much better, healthier, happier, friendlier direction. Raise your bar. No worries, I’ll help you.
