In the days surrounding the planning of my future, I realized I did not have the time for you like I did before. And as much as I tried, on that plane, I could not recapture you in the way I had wanted. You were lost somewhere in the in-flight magazines and people-watching. You were lost in shuttles, interviews, paperwork. Hope.
And when everything worked out, you just weren’t the same. And on the road, you weren’t the same. You were there, but you were different. Disconnected from what you used to mean to me. And instead of trying to force that once again, I, for the first time since this started, let you fade into the past. I lived without you even though you were right there. Disconnected and different. There, but different. I can’t say I liked the feeling, but that is what life is.
Sitting in a hotel room, I sought you again. And you were still not the same. Where had our affair left us? Love has brought us here. Brought us to this disjointed place of memory.
I stopped seeking the feeling of the past and I let you slide away. I knew that we would never be separated and whenever I felt it again, I could seek you once more. And because of you, I stopped to think. The white guidelines and the exit signs served only as reminders and I thought about you. I thought about how I knew you were something special, the most perfect complement to everything that I was living and feeling. About how my interest in you led me to places I wouldn’t have found without you. You kept me on track even when I didn’t know what track I would be taking until moments before I embarked. And what you said, it wasn’t a lie. Things change. That’s all, things just change. My interest in you led me to this place. You and I, we make a wonderful team. Perfect.
And on that road, love, I reconnected with you in the middle of the night. A few other cars. You made the scenery beautiful. I found you on the road. I found you once again.
I have taken away your name here. I have made you anthropomorphic. I have made you vague and in that, I gave you the feeling back. Rather, you gave it back to me. I made you vague and I made you mine again. I found you.
