One day, I hope you achieve what I have achieved. Everybody deserves to be here, or at least, not there, and I have nothing but the sincerest wishes that you will find yourself in this place sooner rather than later. I have done the best I could for you and I am unwilling to give anymore and receive nothing in return. I offered understanding with the best of intentions, but it seems as though I am the one who gained the most understanding. Reciprocation is necessary to sustain a system such as this, but I could not draw from you what I needed. Instead, I found you were draining resources and wasting them. Wasting parts of me that I gave in the spirit of help and comfort and understanding.
And there is no one to blame. I understand the situation forward and backward, as I lived it for years. But the feeling is different now and I know you know it is as well. Maybe it is not that I taught you anything about dealing with what ails you, but rather, you have taught me about dealing with what ails me and what has the potential to. You helped me find what I had really been seeking all along. At least, you led me to the point where I was able to offer this important part of what I am to others who saw the spark.
When you reach this place where the future seems so clear and the answers are obvious, you will remember that me and understand. I have already changed course and I hope that you find it in you to soon do the same. May you find strength in those around you who care about you, may you one day find yourself in the midst of all of the good things you’ve dreamed for yourself, and may your journey end on the happiest note so that you have no regrets, rather, you have understanding.
I have hoped you would reach this place for years and I will never wish anything less for you. You did what you had to do and now so do I. You will one day understand this part of me and furthermore, this part of you. Until then, I wish you peace, I wish you laughter, and I wish to remain at this safe distance.
